A man sits in a restaurant and cries. The waiter comes and asks what happened. The man replies: “My wife told me that she wouldn’t talk to me for a month.” The waiter replies, “Oh no, that’s horrible!” Man: “Yes!!! (Sobs) Today that month is over.”
A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone. The husband is surprised, “Wow, that was quick – usually you women are at it for two hours at least!” “Yeah, well, it was a wrong number.”
My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.
A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks, “Do you share the same blood group?”
The husband replies, “We must by now. She’s been sucking my blood for years.”
Read more funny jokes: http://jokesfan.com/marriage-wife-husband-jokes.html#ixzz5xt4c9lj3
A scientific study discovered that women with extra weight usually live longer than men who point it out.
Why is it called the PMS?
Because the Mad Cow Disease was taken.
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”
“My wife kept insisting I do macrame.Finally I shouted, ‘Knot again!’”
पत्नी अंग्रेजी की किताब पढ़ रही थी.
उसने अपने पति से पूछा:
अजी सुनिए, ये Complete और Finish में क्या फर्क होता है?
अगर शादी सही लड़की से हो गयी तो समझो की जिंदगी Complete
और अगर गलत लड़की से हो गयी तो समझो की जिंदगी Finish…
पति : पानी पिलाओ
पत्नी पानी लेने गयी, तब तक पति सो गया ,
पत्नी सारी रात पानी का गिलास पकड़े खड़ी रही ,
सुबह जब पति की आँख खुली तो देख के बहुत खुश हुआ
और बोला मांगो क्या मांगती हो ?
पत्नी : तलाक दे दे कमीने!!