A small boy was at the zoo with his father

A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?”


“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. “All right, son,” asked the father, “what does that show you?”
“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.”

Son: No thanks, Dad

Son: No thanks, Dad. I know how many pockets I’ve got.

Teacher: You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.