Father Son Jokes

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait

Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Son: Mom, yesterday when I was on the bus with dad, dad told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Good, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom I was sitting on dad’s lap

Father: Whenever I beat you at chess, you don’t get annoyed, how do you control your anger?
Son: I clean the toilet seat. With your toothbrush.

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. “All right, son,” asked the father, “what does that show you?”
“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.”

Son: No thanks, Dad. I know how many pockets I’ve got.

Teacher: You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.