जोक्स और शायरी हिंदी में
A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.
He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: “Damn, some asshole has my pen!”
“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home.'”
“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“It’s not unusual.”
When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”…
I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. “This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure,” the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, until … “Heck,” he continued, “you have a…
ER DOCTOR: So, what brings you here?
PATIENT: An ambulance! What do you think?!
(Credit BestLife)
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.” St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives.” St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, “I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care.”
St. Peter replies, “You may enter. But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell.”
But really, they need me:
Dad’s pager beeped, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him—lights flashing, siren blaring. So Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.
Within seconds came the policeman’s response: a pair of handcuffs flapping outside the police car window.
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says.
“Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks.
“10…” says the doctor.
“10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!” he asks desperately.
“10…9…8…7…”
Doctor: I’ve got very bad news – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s.
Patient: Well, at least I don’t have cancer.